The new Pakistani version of Ant and Grasshopper!

Ant & Grasshopper - Traditional Version*




The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter,the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.



*Pakistani version*



The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.



Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.



Geo TV, BBC, ARY, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast.



How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?



Asma Jahangir stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Imran Khan goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Joins hands with Geo TV to raise funds for that purpose.

Amnesty International and Chief Justice Iftikhar criticizes the Pakistan Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper. Chaudhry takes a Suo moto action and issues a show cause notice to all Ants association to appear before the court within a week's time.



The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) . Facebook as ususal not interested in a pakistani support site.

Opposition MPs stage a walkout on constitutional Avenue. Islamic parties call for "Hartal" in Frontier and Baluchistan demanding a Judicial Enquiry.



MQM Coalition in Sindh immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers. Altaf Hussain blames ANP and land Mafia behind all tha Chaos.



Railway minister allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Pakistan Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Shalimar'.



Finally, the President drafts an ordinance ' Anti State Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act' [ASTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter. Mobilizes state agencies.



Punjab Govt. makes ' Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services. Shahbaz Sharif announces an immediate grant of 2 billion rupees for affected grasshoppers and opens two new cheap Roti Tandoors in their locality.



Finally,



The Ant is fined for failing to comply with ASTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, it's home is confiscated by the NAB and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by PTV.



Nawaz Sharief calls it ' A Triumph of Justice '.

Zardari calls it ' Democracy to be the best revenge '. and Adds Pakistan Khappay in the end as usual!

MQM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'

Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani invites the Grasshopper to address the National Assembly.



Many years later...

The Ants have since migrated to the US , Canada , UK and Middle East, have worked harder then they did before set up a multi-million dollar business.



1000s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite all reservation... somewhere in Pakistan ..



As a result of losing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, Pakistan is still a developing country !!!

This is an Incredible story!

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife,

after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments..

Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and

walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.

The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.

He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs
and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant..

This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bullshit stories.

A different kinda wedding invitation

Keep me in your heart

Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for a while
If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for a while

When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for a while
There's a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for a while

Sha la, la-la-la, la-la-li, li, lo
Keep me in your heart for a while
Sha la, la-la-la, la-la-li, li, lo
Keep me in your heart for a while

Sometimes when you're doing simple things around the house
Maybe you'll think of me and smile
You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for a while

Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you

Engine driver's headed north to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for a while
These wheels keep turning but they're running out of steam
Keep me in your heart for a while

Keep me in your heart for a while

Bootiful...

(Whispered) Let me be your hero

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
Would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh oh please tell me these
Now would you die for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight?

I can be you hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

Would you swear that you'll always be mine?
Would you lie would you run away
Am I in to deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care you're here tonight

I can be you hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

I just want to hold you

I just want to hold you
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
Well I don't care you're here tonight

I can be you hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

I can be you hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

You can take my breath my breath away
I can be your hero

The Invitation ~ a poem by Oriah

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty, even when it is not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.


By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming,
from the book The Invitation

EU's new English..

Source - Unknown

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".


In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.